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Three important rules about your baby's first foods. Postnatal depression and loneliness advice. Baby losing interest in nursing. Make sure you are showing them that you love them regardless of their actions, but that you appreciate the positive choices they are making when they do make them.
She is also a mom of 5 sons, 2 of which are foster sons. Categories: Adoption. Tag: Adoptive Parenting , Challenging Behavior. Your email address will not be published. All of my clothing is leaving. The state of Michigan lies about kids backgrounds. Another reason is that many of our children suffer from attachment problems. Whether your child had a bonded relationship with a birth parent that was then severed, or your child was never bonded to anyone, they share a similar wound, and therefore similar responses.
They lie, sneak, cheat, hate, charm, trick, manipulate, hurt before being hurt, trust no one at any cost, and try to control every situation. Love no one. As I talk about possible interventions for these behaviors, keep in mind these four things:. My recommendation for dealing with lying and sneaky behaviors is threefold:.
Prevention Prevention, in this case, means monitoring your child as much as possible just as you would a toddler. We never leave toddlers unsupervised because they can make bad choices. The same could be said for our children. As they attempt to figure out their new world they act out on their anger, fear, and frustration.
Of course that means you must be consistent and reliable. You must model honesty and truth at all times. Asking questions in anger spells disaster when we really want to get answers. After getting nowhere, I decided to wait until we could both calmly talk this whole thing out. When we were able to really talk over what had happened, he could be honest with me.
I could see that he felt frustrated, embarrassed, and stupid. We both learned so much in this encounter, and I learned that sometimes there are no answers to my questions.
How do I stop my child from stealing? In time, his brain seemed to mature enough to be able to stop himself from stealing. Not all brains will mature in that way, but there is hope! He knew stealing was wrong.
We talked about how it feels when you are stolen from, what it means to be trustworthy, and the consequences of stealing. But we never had these conversations in a heated situation. If we had, he would most likely have become defensive and shut down. As parents, we began to focus on connection with him and the time and effort paid off.
Like Julie did, we adults—whether parents, caregivers, or professionals—need to rethink the messages we give our children with neuro-behavioral issues like FASD. After years of us being frustrated, giving consequences non-stop, attending therapy after therapy after therapy, our kids start to feel broken, like they need to be fixed. This is not to say that we should not partner with them to teach them how to better overcome their symptoms, but while doing so, it is important that we help them understand their brain differences.
This is the path to positive self-identity. Many parents worry that their children will then use their FASD or trauma history as an excuse for bad choices. I have rarely seen this happen. If we are able to start changing our approach, and thus are able to keep their anxiety lowered, we are much more likely to be successful in teaching them the lessons we desperately need them to learn.
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